She found the growth to be uncomfortable.
She found the movement to wisdom terrifying.
She wondered would it be easier to live on the
surface and enjoy the simple distractions.
She wondered was it really necessary to go through
so much in order to emerge the beautiful butterfly.
She even wondered…what was the point
in being a beautiful butterfly.
What would life be like without wonder.
On Fridays and Saturdays
she reached deep for truth of all kinds ~
happy, sad, brave and loving.
On Sundays she shared pictures of the sky.
But she had been silent,
heavy, out of sorts ~ at a loss for words
with no interest in pretty pictures.
You see she had done something brave.
She had faced her biggest fear and
set the ball in motion for HUGE change.
She thought she would feel relieved
and in a way YES she did
BUT she also felt too much of everything
AND so all she could say was
A little bit of quiet FOR just a little while.
This time her sky was filled with blooms.
Blossoming potential and love.
She kept climbing up
and around the corners
to see the next view.
Staying stuck was not an option.
The question came ~ are you lonely, alone, sad…..or just on a search of being one with yourself, nature, and your children?
She answered quickly without giving it much thought ~ she said “I am seeking, searching and have always been that way. Sometimes it feels like I have a sad, old, inner soul but it could also be a wild, excited inner child that is scrambling to burst through and find its way out.”
She had always been in dialogue and prayer with nature – since she was very young…….its who she was.
Perhaps the sadness was that it had been stuffed and questioned ~ THAT deep, pondering voice.
Maybe it sounded sad because it touched that part of people’s thinking that they too kept buried deep within.
She found that as long as she could be in her depths she could also be in her light.
She did not ride very comfortably in the middle.
AND SO SHE WAS and So She Would be AMAZED BY her Own Voice
She didn’t need to try to be a BIG DEAL.
She just was sometimes
while other times she was not
and it really did not matter.
She found it to be quite a brilliant realization.