Something was shifting
and she could feel
herself coming around.
She was coming up
with fresh eyes and
a deeper love,
light and understanding.
Every ending is a new beginning.
Every rose has it’s thorns.
Always there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Something was shifting
and she could feel
herself coming around.
Soon she would have no choice but to SHINE.
Beauty was simple.
She could find it anywhere.
It was often in the things
undecorated and authentic.
Sometimes it was even
the most lovely as it was dying.
Beauty was simple.
She could find it anywhere.
She knew it was still an ending and it was a loss to be mourned.
She expected it to be easier as she had moved past blame and had accepted it was WE who failed to care and take care of our love.
But it was still an ending and it was a loss to be mourned.
She had been hard on herself……expecting more springing forward in joy, renewal and ambition for it was her who had left.
But she realized it was WE who had left each other long ago….it was only that SHE named it.
She decided to surround herself with people who would accept her on her strong days, on her escape days but also on her weepy, whiny and hard days.
She wanted to tell you ~ you are good, you are loving and you will be stronger for this. That’s what she said anyways……..and sometimes she was a pretty wise bird.
Divorce, death and endings are hard no matter the circumstance.
“Leaning In” was a phrase she had heard before, more than once for sure. Along with ~ “Move Into The Pain”, “Sit With The Pain”, “Look At The Shadows”.
Perhaps what she had missed was that none of the above meant ~ quickly peak at the ugliness, glance over it briefly, and then skip quickly to the practice of positive thinking and looking for beauty.
Its not that he had never sat a little longer with her pain and demons but I don’t think she realized she would have to sit and look closely, pay attention, let it resonate and pierce her body, change her mind and engulf her soul.
And learn to love it? Love the shadows? Embrace the pain and self hatred that was in all of us?
It wasn’t pretty – “Leaning In” but she realized it was necessary if she was going to truly love herself and love others. She had to do it ~ there was no other way to the other side.
