Simplify – ButterflyFlutterBEEMoth

I do this life in Waves. Always have. Waves of emotion and waves of being wise. I do grow wiser… it’s certainly true but then life is before me again with a new challenge. I have to say as a “thinker”… I’ve always been one their is a huge letting go that happens as I move through my fourties. It’s not the end… it’s the journey. For some this might translate to as it’s not the boyfriend, house, car but for me a thinker it’s different. The end for me means clarity and wisdom. There is no end to that either sooooo fuck it. Okay now… well at least some of the time. Yee seekers ….will always seek just make sure you’re laughing and dancing in between.

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Darn – I wrote something to go with this but obviously blogging from my phone is not going to work.

Something about freedom from trying to figure it all out?  Something about being a thinker/seeker and striving to attain an end point but then getting to a life stage where the saying “it’s the journey” truly resonates?  Yes.  That’s Right.

In my twenties I thought I was such a wise one that had triumphed a lot and was over the hardest years of my life.  ha ha ha ha

In my thirties I was a new mom.  Well holy crap……I was screwed…..I knew nothing really. Then entered baby two, then entered twins and I was a mother of 4 children under 5 and quite completely lost.  Not lost in a bad way but children challenge and humble us.  Thats how it is supposed to be.  Thats us GROWING up some more.  This…will happen to our children too.

As I neared 40 and made huge adult decisions about my life moving forward I was quite sure I was on my way to the deepest of knowings and huge life awareness.  I was convinced of those metaphors – “jump into the net”, “walk through the fires”, “becoming a beautiful butterfly”.  So I jumped, burned, became a butterfly?  Hmmmmm…..maybe.  How about I became a Flutter BEE?  I like that better.  Or perhaps one of those really cool Moths?  Ok so I became a ButterflyFlutterBEEMoth.  MammothMoth.  Fluttering.  Like a Butterfly.  But buzzing like a BEE.  Ok thats enough.

I am 43 now and what I have really found is a letting go.  A letting go of knowing wise things.  I still know nothing grande and nothing final and I know the journey will continue in its waves of knowing and not knowing.

Hence 2) What The Fuck Is This.

Maybe you know the answer.

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