I was never able to actually leave the way this is written but I have carried this thinking in moments and I do suppose this attitude serves a purpose in certain context.

Leaving is never easy but sometimes its the very best thing you can do. This is for Paul…..it is written about a woman leaving a man but could easily go the other way.

Do what you gotta do.

~ Always With Love


Power and Questioning

Questioning first even though its second in the title. It is important because everybody who reads me should know that I question everything I think.  Especially lately as I allow growing.

Shall I question power and my theory tonight about power? Perhaps. But only later. For now I will play with believing my own theory.

The story I told myself tonight as I road my bike around this tourist town is that I feel powerful and that I am afraid of this power. The power that I am comfortable to walk alone. The power that I am to be whole and content just me, on my bike, in the present moment taking it all in. I am afraid of this power because I have never known how to stay in it when I am with a man. Tonight I questioned why. Am I afraid its too masculine? Am I afraid there will never be a man that can handle me in it? Am I afraid that if I show my strength nobody will take care of me? Do I really have a choice? Can I actually afford one more day of playing myself down? Is this even a proper paragraph and prose? What did I say about a theory and not questioning it? Hmmmm sounds more like questioning than a theory.

So I have a question to the men. How do you feel about powerful and potent women? And I have a question for the women. Are you a powerful and serious woman? How do you be in that yet still be soft?

I will be what I be… no turning back now but ever curious as I explore this aspect of me.

Tonight photos sans tourists.

~ Always With Love

Top Of Knox

I have been active in all ways. Pushing and pushing after years of escaping in between hurting. I am somewhere in the middle and feeling enormously wise, loved and radiant. Its coming from inside and that is something you can never lose.

Top of Knox is rather straight up. Its 40 minutes climbing and mostly steep. It can be done in 30 but I always seem to stop and snap pictures because I usually do it at sunset and its pretty gorgeous. So I am up in 40 and down in 20 but most importantly wiser and more energetic after. Everytime I am faced with me and everytime I am a little different AND often the same but I am able to see me.

 I see me – I see my patterns, my needs and wants, my strength and knowing… I can not escape me on these hard walks up and quiet easy walks down.

Be grateful for life and the lessons. Even the shitty ones that make no sense and feel like just another disappointment. It is but its not…. it always is a lesson even if that lesson is pointing you back to you and filling your own well that maybe you were hoping somebody else would finally contribute into. 

Its YOU baby… all you… all your love shining out of you and all that love reflecting back. TRUST. LIFE. KEEP CLIMBING.

~ Always With Love

Uncovering & Being The Prize

It is time. I can no longer hide my powerful strength and beauty. I do not exactly know what this looks like but my journey now is ME and loving me.

I have loved men and boys my whole life while rarely loving myself and its time to realize that I am the prize.

Life Get Ready For This. It is time to simply know that I was always enough.  I love enough and always have. Now its time to figure out this recieving busines.

Anybody got some pointers?

~ Always With Love

Little Bits Of Love

What you bring to yourself you have to give to others. 

In a book by Anita Morjanni called “Dying To Be Me” she says until you learn to love yourself you are only play acting at love. She puts it more powerfully than this…. and I believe you can not know this truth untill you glimpse the power in your own self love. 

Self love is going to come and go but you should always be seeking it. Its NOT selfish.. you can not give from an empty cup. I promise.. it is true.

~ Always With Love

Metamorphisis = Liquid

Did you know that in metamorphisis  the caterpillar does not just sproing wings out of its back while in the cocoon And in some cases it becomes liquid? 

The idea of becoming a liquid or goo and essentially disolving made me feel really powerful about the state I have been in over the past two and three months. Perhaps you can feel powerful in your liquid state too.

Remember that when you are falling apart and it feels bigger than any other time you’ve fallen apart that it is possible you are dissolving the old you so that you can become the most beautiful and free you. Maybe at long last you are dissolving the masks, the walls and feeling vulnerable. Maybe this time in your nakedness you will decide once and for all to be yourself and stand proud. Perhaps you are becoming the one that you were before you “forgot you were alive.” I hope so – it is so for me… I know it in my bones. 

Remember who you were and shine.

~Always With Love